The Tale of Yael and the Treadmill
A true story.
Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Yael who decided to learn how to run. The first five weeks went fairly well. One day, she had to make an emergency trip out of state to assist her mother after a major surgery.
Yael’s parents lived in a large housing developement, and she was slightly paranoid of getting lost if she ran its trails. So, her mother was kind enough to give her access to the community center, where she could use the treadmill!
Yael could barely contain her excitement as she climbed on the treadmill, iPod in hand. It was on this day that she completed her first ever 20-minute run! During the cooldown, Yael felt confident to let her mind wander, as she had so many times on her outdoor runs at home. Suddenly, something was wrong. She lost her footing for a fraction of a second, and the next thing she knew she was on the floor in front of the treadmill, and her knees were in pain. Deciding that she wasn’t too badly injured, she completed her cooldown and walked back to her parents’ house.
The next day, Yael rested.
The day after, she attacked the treadmill for a second time. See, up until this point she had only used a treadmill for walking in her old apartment complex while watching Smallville. Her only running experience had come from the park near her home. Today, her intervals started out nicely, and pretty soon she was giving her last 5 minute run all she had. Then, with seconds to go until cooldown, she was on the floor again. This time, it was her ankle that had given in. Yael watched in horror as it swelled to the size of a golfball, and her knees turned a deeper shade of purple.
After a few moments, Yael was able to get back up. Suddenly, the treadmill didn’t look so cool anymore.
“Screw this,” she said, leaving the community center. She then swore never to use a treadmill again.
And she never did.
The moral of the story is this: Treadmills are stupid, ugly, and expensive. Running outdoors is way more fun anyway.